my toothless wonder.

tonight, for the first time, i am going to attempt to let my little co-sleeper try out his crib. not that he hasn't slept in it before, but it's mainly been used for naps and perhaps a couple of nights long ago he spent an hour or so in it before waking and being moved back into my bed. it's honestly not been that important to me where he sleeps as long as night nursing is convenient and easy and doesn't disturb our sleep too much. it's daddy that has finally put his foot down.

we have been staying with my parents for a few months now. most of the time. 99% of the time. of course we unfortunately still pay rent and bills for our own apartment, but since i have been taking classes this arrangement is easier. needless to say, jude spends many a night sleeping with his nana. my step-dad works nights, and they have a king-sized bed, so this works. if i had a king-sized bed, jude would probably never know what a crib is. but i don't. and jude has a rather nice and expensive crib that was collecting dust at our apartment.

on the way home from dinner, i convinced zach to stop at our house to get the crib. he was reluctant but also knew that he wanted sleep tonight. so while he broke the crib down jude and i visited my grandmother across the street. (i would have helped, but those sorts of things usually start fights between us haha, go figure.) once we got home (mom's home) it was bath time for the baby jude and by the time i had him lathered with lotion and in his pjs, the crib was ready.

round one: 9pm. i gave him a bottle (as i do most nights during school semesters) and laid him down on his tummy in the crib. bad idea. he woke up, burped, and puked on his nice, clean sheets. round two 9:10pm. i gave him his paci, held him close and endured about ten minutes of pinching and scratching then laid him down on his back. well, of course he woke up. instead of picking him up, i decided to really try out this big boy thing. i turned on his mobile and walked downstairs. finally after about 15 minutes he fell asleep ON HIS OWN! two hours go by and just as i'm getting some videos uploaded, he wakes screaming. round three 11:30pm. in my mind i curse his teeth as i get up to get him. there are real tears so i pick him up and try rocking him. after a combination of orajel, hyland's teething tablets, tylenol, and an ice cube wrapped in a washcloth, he lets me nurse him to sleep. poor, poor teething boy. i hate teeth, too.

not that he's got any. not that i can even feel a hint of any. he did this with the fussiness and night waking a couple of months ago. we will see if this round bears any results. i sure hope so. i hate the crying. i especially hate not being able to help him comprehend that everything will be alright. it's a hard job being someone's everything and complete source of comfort. i hope the crib will cultivate some independence in my sweet, needy boy. and in my sweet, needy self also. i still haven't even left him away for the night.

well, goodnight. here's to hoping baby jude will pull an all-nighter (in his crib, of course) ;)